why are you doing this mission?

  it's what you do for a living
  You've been assigned to it
  He's taken over the world and you're the only one to stop him
  He stole you're woman!
  he betrayed your government and very way of life and you must prove you're self
  You're island and your family is in jeopardy
  You just really hate ghosts
  Your going to be a god and nothing will stop you
  they're trying to take over the galaxy

you are surrounded by a horde of goombas, you...

  try to jump over them/ bodyslam them
  stab them
  walk up and punch them in the face
  kill them and eat em'
  kill them in the most gruesome, bloody way possible
  insult him and then jump on him
  shoot them with the coolest gun you can find
  shoot rockets at the mother f*ckers!
  sneak around them, assasinate them

you're running to the end of the level and you come to a dead end, what do you do.

  run back a few hundred feet and try to fly over it
  run back, get a rhino, and plow threw whatever's blocking you.
  break out the flute
  just go back and eat more, the passage will open eventually
  drop a grenade under yourself to go back, and get what you missed
  conjure lightning to blow up what's blocking you
  you go back and destroy robots, woot!
  dude there's 50 passages in this maze, keep going until you run into an alien monstrosity (you'll know you're doing somthing right)
  go back and search the bodies

what's you're weapon of choice?

  flames
  an enchanted elvin sword
  your fists
  your mouth
  holy swords attatched to chains. F*CK GUNS.
  running into enimies. FAST.
  energy blasters.
  sniper rifle
  machine gun

do you have any family members

  Your brother and soon to be wife, SHOWWWWWWW
  Your old, old, old grandfather
  All the reletives you live with drive you crazy!
  you're reletives were slautered by ghouls!
  Reletives would slow you down, but you do have grudges
  they were killed by robots
  they're in some other universe
  pleeeeeeeeeeease, your to cool to have nagging sibblings
  they're in hiding, safe (for now)

where do you live? (this time, it's gona be obvious which characters this question is referring to, so just answer where you'd want to live.)

  On a ship orbiting around the planet where taking.
  In a crate waiting to pop out and stab you. WHAPAAAAAAAAAAH
  My compact ship (with lasers)
  When I stop stomping on you, I sleep in a tree for two hours.
  I carve out a stone fortress, then shove bodies in it and move on.
  I don't sleep, I EAT YOU.
  In a giant bannana.
  shack up in the nearest cave and scrape the pixelated blood off my sword.
  I'm on drugs, I'll sleep after I kick...your...A$$.

who'd you get your training from.

  You learned from the space holocaust.
  A secret agency (which shall not be named)
  Your superior general.
  Someone no one cares about.
  a wise old man (sorta like yoda)
  A cranky old monkey (not at all like yoda)
  You learned on the streets.
  The gods.
  marsupial

what is you favorite console?

  nes
  N 64
  SNES
  atari 2600
  playstation 2
  sega genesis
  gamecube
  playstation 1
  xbox

How cool are you?

  I'll shoot the f*ck out of you, then clone you, then shoot the f*ck out of all your clones.
  AWESOME!
  I'm cool, then i'm a woman. THEN I'M AWESOME!!!!!
  Are drugs cool? yes.
  You must ask yourself, are elvin majic swordsman cool?
  I'll punch you in the face anyway.
  Can't talk now, on steroids
  I will cut you into little pieces and feed them to my pet sea monster.
  My marketing campain says I'm awesome